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alfonso · x
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Grab the nearest book. * Open the book to page 56. * Find the fifth sentence. * Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions. * Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. ----------------------------- Similimente a li splendor mondani
ordeno general ministra e duce
che permutasse a tempo li ben vani
de gente in gente e d'uno in altro sangue,
oltre la difension d'i seni umani;
per ch'una gente impera e l'altra langue,
seguendo lo giudicio di costei, (Translation from p.57:
Of worldly splendor He assigned a guide
And minister - she, when time seems proper, spreads
Those vanities from race to race, this blood
Then that, beyond prevention of human wit,
Thus one clan languishes for another's good
According to how her judgment may dictate. ) |
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Flighty and falsehearted monkeys have run off to Nolose without our permission.
Current Location: |
My special bed |
Current Mood: |
 pissed off |
Current Music: |
the brief silence between my complaints | |
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Last night, a bunch of randy gay dancing boys and I pulled off a glorious queer invasion of a performance by the Glenn Miller Orchestra on the aircraft carrier USS Hornet. The aircraft carrier is permanently docked in Alameda as a museum of vintage aeronautic delights. The enormous central hanger has been converted into a performance space with three large dance floors. At this benefit, we got to dance to big band swing music among the aircraft and helicopters. All the guests were encouraged to dress in period military but of course, we went overboard. Our dashing outfits and fancy dance moves endeared us to everyone there. It was a blast! They hold these events twice a year or so and we are all planning on continuing the gay sailor tradition! Let us know if you want to join in! P.S. There was also a hot lesbian contingent but they are in a separate photo.
Current Location: |
Thermalia |
Current Mood: |
 chipper |
Current Music: |
Maeve's snores | |
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Catherine Tate is making me laugh so hard these days. I just had to share the ambiguously gay Derek Faye with all my friends. ( How very dare you! )
Current Mood: |
 giddy | |
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So I've gathered some photos from my stay in Oviedo. They are mostly street shots to give you a sense of the place. It's not the biggest or most happening city in the province, that's Gijon on the coast just to the north. But Oviedo definitley has its old world charms. It shows its age well. |
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I've gathered a few pictures from the many hikes that I took with my nephews. They should give an idea of the beauty of the land.
Current Location: |
Thermalia |
Current Mood: |
grateful | |
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Well I made it home safe and sound, and I am surprisingly elated to be back. It's usually nice to return to my routines after a trip abroad but this time I actually feel glee as I look out over the landscape and smell the air. Strange, because I really did love the land in Asturias. I guess this all just feels more like home right now. I remember that it took a while for the Bay Area to feel like home. Maybe even 10 years. I started noticing that the seasons made sense and I felt aligned with the natural cycles of the land here. No matter how beautiful or special a place is, I think it takes me time to make it my own. Maybe I can only have one "homeland" at a time. I don't know. It feels important to think about this now because I need to make some decisions soon about the farm in Asturias. Will I work to preserve it or let it go? For me, a lot of it seems to hinge on my feelings of home and belonging. Yes, my roots are there but I don't automatically feel a part of things in Asturias. I'm pretty sure that I could connect deeply with the land there, given time. I don't know about the people though. Everyone was lovely and friendly and hospitable. But I'm not sure how I fit into the way of life there. Like many rural towns in Europe, the village of Sangoñedo has been progressively depopulated as everyone has moved to the cities. The traditional way of life in these towns is dying. I'm not sure what will replace it and I don't know how I would fit into that new picture. Still thinking and feeling. Here are some of the photos I promised:
Current Location: |
Thermalia |
Current Mood: |
content | |
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Lots has happened in the past few days and I didn´t have any internet access over the weekend to post. I can´t tell you everything but here are some highlights (pics as soon as I get home): - long hikes in the mountains with the boys, all beautiful, some difficult and exhausting. Scary fly plague in an ancient beech forest. - swimming in pristine glacial tarns and under remote waterfalls - great conversations with my nephews about life, love and belonging (over stupefyingly heavy Asturian meals) - strange but informative little ethnographic museums in tiny remote towns - the most changeable weather I have ever experienced, but overall quite pleasant. We are in the 60s & 70s while the rest of Spain bakes close to 100! - lots of hair-raising driving on tiny little mountian roads in a tiny little Fiat Punto. - intermittent home sickness and general melancholia, hard to shake lonely feeling - worry about the farm and the possibility of having to give it up - happy expectation about the return home! |
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So my nephews and I are situated here in the small town of Tineo in western Asturias. We´re about 15 minutes from the tiny village of Sangoñedo where my family´s farm is. It´s very quiet around here. Not totally dead mind you though. You still see folks walking the streets and conversing. You even see some young folks in the mix. Everyone is very aware of our presence. Especailly as the days pass and we don´t go away. Many ask us what the hell we are doing here (in a nice way) and that always starts some interesting conversations. Yesterday we went to the farm and sure enough the wonderful neighbors insisted on feding us and plying us with alcohol. A huge multicourse meal in the middle of the day with arroz con pollo, fish, lamb, and the ubiquitous home-made cured meats. While we were waiting for the meal, the boys and I started cleaning out the house. We just piled up rotten furniture along side of the house. I think the nieghbors were shocked at how much we were throwing out. But I have to say, that the house already feels better. I began to have some trouble with the mold and mildew level in there however; allergies have been acting up. Then we had a local wood worker, Martin, come out to look at the roof and the true scope of this restoration project began to dawn on me. As we stepped into the HUGE attic space, I could see the water damage to the main beams and the gaping holes in the tile work where the rain had been coming in. Martin very calmly tried to explain the situation and what it would take to fix it. I think I started spacing out a bit and had trouble understadning all the construction talk in Spanish. He noticed and suggested that we follow him up to the next town where he had just finished replacing the roof on a house very similar to ours. I agreed and we headed up a dicey dirt road to the next town. Wow, his work on that house was BEAUTIFUL. I took lots of pictures and will post them when I get home. It really helped to be able to see exactly what he ws talking about. As we finished talking outside of the house, I began to feel less overwhelmed by it all. I also noticed that Martin was quite attractive. I even had the wherewithal to flirt a bit and ask him about his life there. There was some friendly shoulder squeezing that should provide the beginnings of some excellent fantasies. Martin will be giving us an estimate on the roof sometime next week and I expect it will be high. He bascially has to rebuild it from scratch. But if we want to save the house, it´s the only way. If not, water will get into the walls and they will discombobulate quite quickly. In Martin´s words, "in a few years, you will have a pile of rocks." The walls are made of stacked rock with some kind of mud mortar between them. If the water gets in, the mortar will quickly give and the 400 year old structure will disintegrate entirely. The day of reckoning is here for this house and we will have to bite the bullet and pay for the roof, or say goodbye to the whole thing. I´m just glad I don´t have to make that decision on my own. |
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My sister Mari and my niece Mary left this morning to return to the States. My nephews, Mike & Jon, and I will check out of the hotel in a couple of hours and relocate to the small town of Tineo. I seem to be slowly progressing from urban to rural on this trip (London - Oviedo - Tineo - Sangoñedo). The transtition is bringing up a bit of anxiety for all of us but I´m hopeful. Mike, Jon & I had a great time yesterday hiking a bit around a glacial tarn up in the Picos de Europa. Our first hike here in Spain and a taste of things to come. They are both very excited about exploring on foot and I´m delighted. When all else fails, we can walk... Body still doesn´t like the food situation. I feel sluggish and thick. Maybe the walking will help there too. There´s a big open air market next door to this library; maybe I´ll resort to raw vegetables since I have no where to cook things. I don´t know what kind of internet access I will have in Tineo. There may be a library I can use or an internet cafe. I will explore. But if you don´t hear from me for a while, don´t worry. More later... |
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Yesterday we all travelled by bus to Sangoñedo where our old farm house is. The neighbors had us over for a full day lunch session. They also showed us the house and talked to us about how we might deal with it. I won´t get into all the details about the house since that probably needs a separate post but I will say that the main structure is sound but most of the rest needs to be wiped. There have been leaks over these past years and there´s a lot of damage to all of the furniture, the floor boards, and soem of the ceilings. The main beams the 400 year old stone walls look indestructible however. Our main mission will be to get an estimate on fixing the tile roof which is in very bad shape. Once that´s done then everything else can happen more slowly. I´ve taken lots of pictures and will try to post them when I find a way to download to my nephew´s computer and upload with a wireless connection. The neighors were incredibly welcoming and loving toward us. As if we were family. Most of the food we ate was ¨casera¨- made right there on the premises. That included several types of cured hams, chorizos, lamb cutlets, membrillo paste, some kind of intense fortified wine, prune liquer and much more. It felt so good to be actually talking (and drinking!) with real people rather than tourist servers. Their 8 year old daughter Patricia (named after my sister, no less) became fast friends with my niece Mary and got quite a kick out of interpreting Jon´s drunken attempts to speak Spanish. No doubt we will be back there quite a bit once we move over to Tineo (a small nearby town) tomorrow. I´ll post picutres of all these folks too. Today, we renting the car and driving down to the Picos de Europa and Covadonga. It´s a glorious day and these mountains are famed for their beauty so I think we´re in for a treat. So far, all the landscapes here have been jaw-droppers. Here´s where we´re heading today: http://www.panoramio.com/photos/original/12088071.jpg OK, I´m off to meet the family for breakfast now. Much love to all you wonderful folks who sent me support and good thoughts during my little dark night of the soul.
Current Location: |
Oviedo Public Library |
Current Mood: |
relaxed |
Current Music: |
echoy chairs scrapping on floors | |
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Thank you to everyone who responded to my last post. I SO much appreciate your support, love and advice. I'm doing much better. My family has indeed been a wonderful support. The short story is that I've had two lovely days here and I will tell you all about them soon, when I get a chance to write with more time and ease. Right now I need to get to bed.
Current Location: |
Oviedo Hotel Room |
Current Mood: |
relieved |
Current Music: |
Jon mumbling | |
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So I´m sitting in the library in Oviedo. It´s around 11am and my sister and her kids are not up yet so I ventured out alone. Wanted to write a little bit because I had a really bad time last night and I need some prayers. Everything was fine until I put my head on the pillow and tried to go to sleep. Big anxiety came up for me about this trip, staying with my nephews, what would we do? would it be OK? will I spend too much money? should I have come on this trip? will I be isolated along with the boys? will I meet anyone really or just stay on the outside of everything? how will I eat in a way that nourishes me? If I can´t regulate myself how can I possibly manage to regulate the boys? blah, blah, blah... So those were the thoughts, but the anxiety surrounding them was some of the most extreme I´ve felt in many, many years. I almost started crying and only held back because I would wake the boys and freak them out. Some how I managed to finally get to sleep but upon awakening I could feel the anxeity in the back of my consciousness. Even navigating this morning has stimulated it some more. How can I get what I need to hold myself together in this place and situation? No place to meditate. No place to be held or hold myself. No place to eat something green. No routines to soothe me. I don´t want to feel disconnected and out of control. I don´t want to be a tourist and see things from the outside. I don´t want to fall apart. I don´t want others depending upon me when I can´t even manage to take care fo myself. Wish you all were here. I need a hug. |
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Yesterday, when a friend suggested I meet him for lunch in central London, I decided that it would be best if I got out of the house before I fell asleep. The idea being to stay up until nightfall and try to adjust to European time. After lunch, I walked up toward the National Gallery to take in some free museum action. The rain was coming down hard at that point and the streets around there were jammed with pedestrians. I had a moment of panic as a wave of jetlag hit me and I felt completely exhausted and overwhelmed by the scene. Once I made it to the museum, checked my shit and settled into my groove, things seemed better. But I still wonder at the panic. I think that I'm pretty damned scared of jetlag. Or maybe just of losing my ability to function because of it. Or maybe it isn't even really the functioning that's a stake but my basic ability to "hold myself together". If my energy gets sapped hard enough then my whole ego structure might fall apart. If my efforting little ego fails to keep its shit going, then I'm afraid I'll just die. Period. Though I tried valiantly to sleep through last night, I found myself waking up repeatedly. With each awakening, I felt a growing sadness and despondency. I felt like a helpless little boy who has run out of tricks for taking care of himself and is now doomed to some imminent and terrifying dissolution. When the sun came out, the feeling passed and I pulled myself together. Told myself that the rain was over and that today would be easier; well within the capacities of my poor little ego. Discovered a great spot in the sun room for curling up and snoozing lightly during the morning today. Rather than forcing myself to function ("take advantage of my time in London", etc, etc.), I'm giving myself permission to snooze in the sun as long as I want. It feels good. A gentler way of readjusting my internal clock without having to push myself so hard. Just lay in the sun and let the light do the work. Why hadn't I thought of it before. Maybe it's just another trick but it feels like a surrender of sorts. Letting myself "be" a little rather than "do" so much. I suspect that I will venture out a bit later to see Hampton Court. The guy who's staying here with me gave me a free pass to the big flower show there. How gay is that? I want see it...
Current Location: |
Wimbledon |
Current Mood: |
 groggy |
Current Music: |
Pura Fe | |
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Woke up this morning (or was it yesterday morning?) and did NOT want to go travelling. Just wanted to stay at home and nest. Didn't want to have to function at the level necessary for travel abroad. Didn't want to be alone in a foreign country, dealing. But plans being what they were I had to get on a plane to London anyway. My visiting friends EmmyLou and Wilona took the BART train with me to the airport. We parted ways there as they went to Miami and I headed for London (strangely enough to stay at their house.) I did have a stroke of good luck though. At the last minute, they upgraded me to business class for no good reason. Very nice food, fully reclining seat/bed with all the amenities. Pony had given me a nice little sleeping pill that worked its magic and allowed me to sleep straight through 7 hours of the 9.5 hour flight. I took the pill right after dinner and the next thing I knew I was hearing the flight attendant asking the coffee/tea question for breakfast just prior to landing. It was the shortest flight to Europe I've ever had. Tube journey here to E&W's house in Wimbledon took a while. It was rush hour which made for sardine-like trains but lots of good people watching. Arrived at their very sweet little house about an hour ago. It's pouring rain outside and I am sorely tempted to go to sleep again but I must try to stay up as long as I can (seeing that it's only 10am here.) Am somewhat at a loss as to what to do with the day though. I'm certianly not up to going into central London for sights and such. If the rain lets up a bit, I may just explore Wimbledon a bit. There is clearly cuteness to be appreciated here. I didn't plan this trip at all which is very unusual for me. Don't know exactly what I'm doing here. Seems like there ought to be a reason for flying half way across the world. Initially this was just a stop on the way to Asturias. My family is waiting for me there. This seems lonely right here right now. Strange to leave E&W in SF and then be among all their stuff here in London without them. Jetlag also just makes everything much stranger. Having internet access and being able to post to LJ is a welcome familiarity. I don't feel quite so adrift. More later...
Current Location: |
London |
Current Mood: |
 confused |
Current Music: |
Rain | |
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Just in case you missed it, there are some photos below ( the cut. ) |
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Anyone who missed my very, very gay dance formation team back in April can see a reprise on our winning Viennese Waltz routine at the Sundance stage at Pride around 4pm. Yes, we will indeed be wearing the shiny purple polyester outfits again. It will be a spectacle and some of us may faint from the heat. But then again, there won't be any shortage of spectacles that afternoon. Hope everyone has a great weekend! |
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Ok folks, as embarrassing as it sounds, I am totally addicted to this German soap opera! In particular, the steamy gay love story between sweet Christian & Ollie. Oh, they are so adorably sexy and vulnerable. You would absolutely never see stuff like this on American daytime TV (note the tired debate about Luke & Noah on As The World Turns.) A lovely German woman has systematically collected the edited clips from all the relevant episodes from the last 9 months, dutifully subtitled them and generously posted them on youtube (where they are a minor sensation.) Ya gotta love youtube! Here's a sample where Christian finally cops to his love for Ollie (and then proceeds to fuck him.) If you find yourself intrigued (and with a couple of hours to kill), you can watch the entire string of short installments. Yes, I'm on summer vacation. Does it show?
Current Location: |
Thermalia |
Current Mood: |
 enthralled |
Current Music: |
Maeve's snoring | |
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Once upon a time, an elephant was walking down the forest path. He suddenly met a strange armadillo. Red beams shot from the armadillo’s eyes and shrunk the elephant down to a tiny size. The elephant was very scared and ran into the grass where a preying mantis tried to pounce on him. But then he met an ant who became his friend. The ant took the elephant back to his anthill and showed him around. But then everything started shaking and the ant said that a human had stepped on the anthill. The elephant and the ant got out but the ant said that the queen was dead. They wandered around the forest together. Then the armadillo came back and said to the elephant “ I’m sorry that I shrunk you, but I thought you had killed my father. I will make you big again and for your trouble I will give you a trunk of incomparable power and the ant will get an army to follow him and protect his family.” And that’s how the elephant got his trunk and the ant his army.
The end.
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So this week I heard that I received the promotion to Full Professor. That's basically the top of the game in academia. My little room in the Ivory Tower is paid for, decorated and feeling mighty cozy right now. No more evaluations. No one else to please. (At least, no one who can impact me in any meaningful way.) ( Read more ) |
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